Bad Timing
by Michelle Birkby
Summary: Janet suddenly realises something, moments before her death. DanJan Ship


Warning; Character Death

Author's notes; This is told from Janet's point of view, in the moments before she gets shot in Heroes.

* * *

I love him.

Hell of a time to realise that, Janet Frasier. Bullets and staff weapon blasts flying all over the place, jaffa over the ridge, a man dying in front of you, and you pick now to have that moment of revelation. You know what's happened, don't you? You've spent so much time with SG1 you've picked up their monumentally bad sense of timing.

But it just hit me. As I watched him focus the camera on Well's face. When I saw how calm and focused he was, even with all this going on around us. How he cared about two things right now, helping Wells, and protecting me. I looked his face, so reassuring, trying to calm Wells, keep him alive, give him hope, and it hit me.

I love Daniel Jackson.

It must have been building up for a while now, but I never noticed. Cassie used to tease me about him, tell us we'd get married one day, but I just laughed it off. I know he visited a lot, but they all did. There was a barely a day when one or another of the four of them, sometimes more, didn't drop by to say Hi to Cassie, pass time with me. I think Cassie and I were the family the four of them wanted but couldn't have, and that was fine by me.

When did my friendship with Daniel become love?

I'd always found him attractive. Hell, half the base found him attractive. Those intense blue eyes, little boy smile, long sensitive fingers, and for some reason, the body of a workout god. I'd have to be blind not to fancy him. But when you're treating a patient, all you see are the cuts and bruises and burns and scars, and you forget the little, irresistible things that draw you to them.

Somewhere along the way, he became more than a patient. More than a friend. I remember when he died. I remember the darkness that fell over the base. I remember getting drunk with Sam, and the two of us sobbing our hearts out over him. I knew he was supposed to have lived on, somehow, but he wasn't there. He wasn't wandering into my infirmary at odd hours with a cup of coffee. He wasn't bringing Cassie round another present. He wasn't sitting in the briefings opposite me, occasionally glancing up at me, to confirm a point he'd made. He wasn't there. I could have realised it then.

Or when he came back, and I saw him stumbling down the ramp towards me. And he looked at me, and said 'I think I remember you.'. And once he was settled, and I'd checked him over, I locked myself in my office, and cried for an hour with relief.

I should have known then.

I'd kept his glasses. Jack never asked why I still had his glasses, over a year later.

Damn, the colonel knew, didn't he? Well, he might have told me.

When he fought through all those personalities, and I saw Daniel in those eyes, and I knew I'd do anything to get him back to me, I almost certainly knew then. I'm an idiot. I've spent all these years trying to get Sam to admit certain feelings to herself, feelings about Jack, and the minute I fall for someone, I barely notice, I lock it away safely.

Well, I'm pretty sure I'm not supposed to be in love with a patient.

But I think he loves me too.

Since he came back, we've been closer. He's there, a lot. Coming to see me when I work late, or have had a hard day. Bringing me coffee and food. Phoning me for a quick chat. Popping round to see Cassie when he knows perfectly well Cassie isn't there. Lately, the way he smiles when he sees me has changed. Sometimes, late at night, in the infirmary, when the lights are dimmed, and the base is quiet, he comes in, and we talk, softly, about things he's done, and seen, and the life I've had, and how it's changed, and it's like we're the only two people in the world, just us two.

When we came through the gate, just ten minutes ago, he pulled me close to him.

"It's dangerous out here, keep close!" he called to me, above the sound of the guns.

"I've been in combat situations before, Daniel!" I yelled back, independent to the last.

"I know, I know. but I'm coming with you. You need an assistant." He said, before I could argue. "Just stay close, ok? I'd never forgive myself if anything happened to you."

I looked up at him then, and his eyes were so intense they could have burnt through his glasses. I nodded ok, then we were called over to Wells.

And now I'm here, kneeling on the ground, all too aware, all of a sudden, that I love Daniel Jackson, and I think he loves me. Really bad timing, Janet. You pause for a moment in your work, and you travel a lifetime in a second. I see what Sam means about combat. It strips away everything, and leaves you with only a pure, harsh truth. I'll tell Daniel, tonight. No more waiting. No more games. No dancing around each other, like Sam and Jack have been. I look at the man bleeding at my feet, crying his love into the camera for his wife, and realise, I cannot wait. If I love Daniel, I have to tell him before anything happens to him. I couldn't bear it if he died again, and I hadn't told him I loved him.

Oh God, Wells, is getting worse. He's screaming now. I have to stabilise him before we even attempt to get him through the gate. If he believes he's going to die, he'll never get through this. I have to reassure him, then get the bleeding stopped. I have.....

THE END.


End file.
